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The season for brutal fantasy football punishments is in full swing. We recently featured the ‘All Punishment, No Reward‘ league where everyone is a loser in some form and now there’s this guy, who has to eat more hot dogs than any human should ever ingest.
For this fantasy football punishment, Gabe (or ‘Gaber’ and ‘g4ber_’ on TikTok) must eat 71 hot dogs to match Joey Chestnut’s 4th of July Hot Dog Eating Contest number. But there are caveats!
Brutal Fantasy Football Punishment: Hot Dog Torture
Firstly, he does not have to eat them all in one sitting like Joey Chestnut does. Joey Jaws only gets 10 minutes on the 4th of July to make history whereas Gaber has, in theory, unlimited time.
The fantasy football punishment stipulates that he must eat 71 hot dogs to match the record, and the clock starts once he eats his first hot dog and runs until he completes his 71st. He can only eat hot dogs in the style of Joey Chestnut along the way and not toss them in chili or mac n cheese.
The other noticeable caveat is Joey Chestnut only eats Famous Nathan’s Hot Dogs in the 4th of July contest whereas this guy is eating Oscar Mayer hot dogs. As a purist, I think he should have to start over from scratch with Famous Nathan’s but c’est la vie.
Gabe’s plan of attack is to eat all 71 hot dogs over the span of a week. That breaks down to just over 10 hot dogs per day for 7 days.
When I first came across this challenge I didn’t think it sounded all that difficult until realized that his only meals, for an entire week, were 3-3-4 hot dogs each day. That’s it. Buns, meat, and water. His stomach will NOT thank him for this.
Here’s his first video explaining the fantasy football punishment as outlined above:
https://www.tiktok.com/@g4ber_/video/7591595035196443934
Again, it did not seem like all that many hot dogs until I saw the packages piled up in the hot dog drawer. That said, I think he’d be better off speed running through the final few days instead of partitioning out 3 or 4 hot dogs per meal for a week. That is a slow, cruel torture.
Here’s how Gabe is holding up through 2.5 days of his league’s punishment:
https://www.tiktok.com/@g4ber_/video/7592044533567769887
As far as fantasy football punishments go, this one is great because it’s relatively harmless. He appears to have some fluidity on when he was able to start the challenge. So if there were any conflicts in life he could have worked around that. If you were training for something like a marathon or Hyrox this could present a massive challenge but for most people, finding 1 out of 52 weeks to fit in 71 glizzies is entirely possible.
Realistically, how far do you think you could get in this challenge? I think I’d take his approach for 3 days then do two days of 20/day. Go big or go home.
At the end of the day, all of this sounds A LOT better than the league I was in where a guy had to fly from NYC to Vegas and drive past Death Valley to sleep in a haunted clown motel.
The post Fantasy Football Punishment Nightmare: Bro Must Eat Hot Dogs For Every Meal Until He Matches Joey Chestnut’s Record appeared first on BroBible.
1.
Why Were All the Bells in the World Removed? The Forgotten Power of Sound and Frequency (Jamie Freeman).
Church bells: "something strange happened in the 19th and 20th centuries: nearly all of the world’s ancient bells were removed, melted down, or destroyed."
(I don’t know whether that’s true, but go with it for a second.)
Why? Mainstream historians attribute this mass removal to wars and the need for metal, but when you dig deeper, the story doesn’t add up.
An explanation:
Some theorists believe that these bells were part of a Tartarian energy grid, designed to harmonise human consciousness, balance electromagnetic fields, and even generate free energy. Removing the bells would have disrupted this energy network, cutting us off from an ancient technology we no longer understand.
Tartarian?
Tartarian Empire (Wikipedia):
Tartary, or Tartaria, is a historical name for Central Asia and Siberia. Conspiracy theories assert that Tartary, or the Tartarian Empire, was a lost civilization with advanced technology and culture.
2.
Risky Wealth: Would You Dare to Open the Mysterious Sealed Door of Padmanabhaswamy Temple? (Ancient Origins).
"The Padmanabhaswamy Temple is a Hindu temple situated in Thiruvananthapuram, Kerala, a province on the southwestern coast of India."
It has a mysterious Vault B with an as-yet-unopened sealed door.
One of the legends surrounding Vault B is that it is impossible at present to open its door. It has been claimed that the door of the vault is magically sealed by sound waves from a secret chant that is now lost. In addition, it is claimed that only a holy man with the knowledge of this chant would be capable of opening the vault’s door.
Maybe the chant was intended to tap Tartarian energies.
3.
Claims that former US military project is being used to manipulate the weather are “nonsense” (RMIT University).
HAARP is a US research program that uses radio waves to study the ionosphere (Earth’s upper atmosphere) and cannot manipulate weather systems.
PREVIOUSLY:
Artificial weather as a military technology (2020), discussing a 1996 study from the US military, "Weather as a Force Multiplier: Owning the Weather in 2025."
4.
What conspiracy theorists get right (Reasonable People #42, Tom Stafford).
Stafford lists 4 “epistemic virtues” of conspiracy theorists:
- "Listening to other people"
- "A healthy skepticism towards state power"
- "Being sensitive to hidden coalitions"
- "Willing to believe the absurd"
As traits in a search for new truths, these are good qualities!
Where is goes wrong is "the vices of conspiracy theory seem only to be the virtues carried to excess."
Let’s try to keep the right side of the line folks.
Well, it finally happened. Over the last two week, my usually well-curated feeds of videos from the deep sea have been overrun with AI slop masquerading as authentic images of strange and delightful creatures of the abyss. AI slop is permeating everything, but it’s particularly noxious when dealing with images from the deep. We generally ... Read More "That’s not a blobfish: Deep Sea Social Media is Flooded by AI Slop" »
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