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The complete history of ping pong tables in NFL locker rooms

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NFL ping pong

Former Washington Post columnist and editor Dan Steinberg said it best: “Life is a never-ending succession of NFL teams adding ping pong tables with stories about how they’re finally coming together as a family and enjoying each other’s company, and NFL teams removing ping pong tables with stories about how they’re finally taking football seriously.”

The stories of teams bonding over games of table tennis and then removing the distraction to focus on the task at hand have become the stuff of legend from NFL locker rooms. And this week, John Harbaugh’s Baltimore Ravens added their names to the list of franchises who have tried to change their luck based upon whether or not there was a ping pong table located in their locker room.

It’s just the latest chapter in the never-ending roller coaster ride that is the relationship between NFL locker rooms and ping pong. Some teams have found success in adding them, some in removing them, some have gone back and forth with them like they are Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck.

But one thing we do know is that where there is a football team and a story to be told about their season, there will always be ping pong. So in search of the definitive account on the matter, and in pursuit of what is certainly a Pulitzer worthy compilation, here now is a complete history of ping pong in NFL locker rooms. After seeing what each team has encountered themselves, you can make your own decision as to whether or not ping pong is a culture builder or a coach killer.

AFC East

Buffalo Bills – KEEP

In April 2017, new head coach Sean McDermott took away locker room games to bring more of a business-like approach to the team. Incredibly, that meant keeping the ping pong table in spite of removing video games, saying that it helped with ball skills.

“This is a business,” McDermott said March 9. “We have to make sure we stay focused on the task at hand, and that means earn the right to win on a daily basis. I don’t believe that playing video games in the locker room is part of earning the right to win. We’re going to be a focused, disciplined and accountable football team, and I believe you do it one day at a time.” Table tennis, which has been popular among Richie Incognito and other players in recent seasons, remains. “[It’s for] ball skills,” McDermott said with a smile.

McDermott has some well-documented… interesting philosophies, but given his success with Buffalo maybe he’s onto something with his ping pong thoughts.

New England Patriots – ADD

It’s hard to imagine Bill Belichick supporting ping pong in the locker room. So when former player Jerod Mayo took over as head coach in July 2024, he added a player lounge that included a table to make things a bit more player-friendly.

Behind the scenes, a lounge has been created for players that includes billiards, PlayStation and a pingpong table, among other things. “I think it’s important to create those spaces,” he explained. “One thing I’ve noticed over the past, let’s say five years, is a lot of times when guys get a break they just go to their locker and get on their phone; they’re scrolling through social media and there’s really no interaction. That is also a time where they build camaraderie.”

Unfortunately, Mayo only lasted one season in charge. No word on what has happened to the lounge or the ping pong table now with Mike Vrabel in charge, but at least the Pats are winning again.

Miami Dolphins – ???

The saga of the 2022 Miami Dolphins ping pong table deserves its own 30 for 30 documentary. First, the team added a table to increase camaraderie before the season. It was credited as a “brainchild of the Mike McDaniel regime” as the team got off to a 3-0 start. However, after two straight losses, the table was removed by the team captains because it was too much of a distraction. McDaniel lauded the serious decision and the inspiring leadership that it showed.

“Tyreek and the captains decided that they wanted to take a step forward with all their opponent prep with regard to the team and with their preparation with our game plans in general. So he made the move to take the ping pong tables out of the locker room. That, to me, is leadership,” McDaniel said.

Except… that wasn’t the case. Tyreek Hill went to the press to say that the only reason the ping pong table was missing was because that he was getting a custom-made table to replace the locker room one.

The ping pong table was back on the way out again before their season-ending Week 18 game against the New York Jets, which they won to clinch a playoff berth. Is it any wonder the Dolphins are what they are in 2025 if they were that indecisive about ping pong tables? Somebody tell Rex Ryan.

New York Jets – N/A

No stories exist about ping pong tables in the Jets locker room. However, their facility did get quite the upgrade this past offseason. Unfortunately, it hasn’t helped Justin Fields and company as the team is the last in the NFL without a win this year.

AFC North

Pittsburgh Steelers – REMOVE

In 2013, Mike Tomlin faced a rare losing streak to start the season. After dropping the first two games, Steelers veterans banned younger players from playing games in the locker room. After losing two more, the ban extended to everyone. Then Steelers captain Ryan Clark explained the decision.

“It divided the team in a way since one set of people couldn’t do a certain thing,” said Clark, one the Steelers’ captains. “[Tomlin] just wanted everybody to be together because we’re all in the losses together. We’re all in the business of fixing this problem together, and we didn’t want anything to divide us.”

Tomlin is the longest-tenured head coach in the NFL and in all four major American professional sports. Has anyone wondered if his disdain for ping pong is one of the reasons why?

Cleveland Browns – WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN

In September 2022, the Browns’ adding a ping pong table and other games to their locker room were noted in regards to increasing team chemistry. Going back even further, there is a 2019 video of former receivers Jarvis Landry and Odell Beckham Jr. playing a game together in uniform after practice. Maybe the problems between OBJ and Baker Mayfield could have been settled there, we’ll never know.

Cincinnati Bengals – ADD

The Cincinnati Bengals were in a golden era with quarterback Joe Burrow bringing the team so close to its first-ever Super Bowl. And in trying to recapture the magic in November 2024, the team turned to the magical elixir that is ping pong. After the tables were removed following a locker room renovation before the 2024 season, they were returned after the team’s bye week.

At the time, team executive Elizabeth Blackburn indicated that it was a decision made by coaches and players to have them removed ahead of this season. But the tables that were present during the team’s AFC North championships in 2021 and 2022 are now back with six weeks left this regular season.

And while the table games have been fun over the years, the reinsertion appears anything but trivial.

“We’ve got the ping pong tables back in the locker room,” kicker Evan McPherson said on Monday. “Everybody’s excited about that, just to get to compete and not just [in] football. I feel like it just rejuvenated everybody’s spirit. We’re excited, and we’re treating this like a whole new season.”

Amazingly, the Bengals went 5-1 after their bye week to finish the season with a winning record at 9-8. If only protecting Joe Burrow and keeping him upright in the pocket were only as valuable to the team’s success as ping pong.

Baltimore Ravens – REMOVE

The Ravens are the latest franchise to think that ping pong has a tangible effect on wins and losses. With the team off to a shocking 1-3 start this year, the table was removed from the locker room.

The Ravens promptly removed several recreational staples from the locker room, including the basketball hoop near Jackson’s and Flowers’ stalls, the pingpong table that rookies Buchanan and Mike Green often battled on after practice, the once-popular corn hole boards, and yes, the video game consoles, often lit up with intense rounds of Super Smash Bros., that regularly drew small crowds of teammates late in the day.

Halting the ping pong games hasn’t stopped their slide on the field as the team then lost their next two games, although those came without Lamar Jackson.

AFC South

Tennessee Titans – FUTURE REMOVE?

The ping pong table seems like an important place in the Tennessee Titans locker room. Tight end Chigoziem Okonkwo was the subject of an Instagram video from the team hyping his skills and his love of the table.

 

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A post shared by Tennessee Titans (@titans)

On the flip side, #1 pick Cam Ward apparently broke a paddle after losing a game to Calvin Ridley, who then posted a video trolling his quarterback on social media.

Now for a dose of reality – the Tennessee Titans have already fired their head coach and are 1-6 on the season. The over/under for a story on removing the ping pong table and bringing a sense of professionalism to the team is Week 11.

Indianapolis Colts – REMOVE

Soon after Jeff Saturday surprisingly took over as interim head coach of the Indianapolis Colts during the 2022 season, the team’s ping pong table was removed from the locker room. While Saturday himself did not seem to confess to making the call, the timing was rather conspicuous. Saturday was 1-7 in his tenure as Colts head coach, so maybe it’s for the best he sticks to pancakes instead of paddles.

Jacksonville Jaguars – REMOVE, ADD

Tom Coughlin is to ping pong tables as Jaws is to small fishing boats. The notoriously gruff former Jaguars and Giants head coach is the godfather of this stuff (as you’ll see later). So it was no surprise in 2017 when, as a team executive, he and coach Doug Marrone had his arch enemy banned from the team’s locker room. The table finally returned in 2022 under new head coach Doug Pederson, and it wasn’t lost on longtime Jacksonville player Tyler Shatley, who had survived through the wars and lived to tell the tale.

“What a journey, you know, to have the pingpong table back,” Shatley joked. “Just glad I’m here for it.”

Houston Texans – SAFE

While there is no history of the Texans going back and forth on their use of the locker room ping pong table, it appears to hold a place of high regard with the franchise. A December 2023 report noted how the entire team was invested in the best on best battles between quarterback Case Keenum and kicker Ka’imi Fairbairn that sound like it was like watching Wilt vs Russell all those years ago.

After practice during Texans training camp and the first few games of the season, when the media was allowed into the locker room, there were always two players in a fierce competition at the ping pong table.

Back and forth, the ball went across the table as each player continuously tried to gain an advantage over the other, maneuvering about their space, hoping to find that angle that would give them the point.

Often, the other players would gather around to watch the epic one-on-one matchup between quarterback Case Keenum and kicker Ka’imi Fairbairn, who rank first and second on the player rankings on the unofficial ping pong chart.

AFC West

Kansas City Chiefs – UPGRADE

The Chiefs gave a tour of their brand new player facility in August 2025 that didn’t just feature a ping pong table, but a shuffleboard table, barber’s chair, and racing simulator as well.

We don’t know what the Chiefs’ ping pong table status was before the fancy new upgrade, but they were probably too busy winning Super Bowls to care too much about it one way or another.

Los Angeles Chargers – SHUFFLEBOARD?!?

Jim Harbaugh marches to the beat of his own drum. Perhaps that’s why instead of ping pong, shuffleboard has taken over the Chargers locker room according to a November 2024 report.

Shuffleboard — a popular barroom game where players use their hands to push weighted pucks into a scoring area on a board — has taken over the Chargers locker room. The purpose of the game is to get the pucks as close to the end of the board as possible without them falling off. (Closer to the end of the board means more points) The game is a new one at the team’s facility, The Bolt, which opened in July. It has created rivalries, daily banter and hours of game play with Tuipulotu, Mack, safety Derwin James Jr., linebacker Daiyan Henley and wide receiver Simi Fehoko among the regular players.

Amazingly, there is a ping pong table at the Chargers facility, but it has largely been neglected in favor of shuffleboard. If the NFL is truly a copycat league, surely other teams will follow in their footsteps if they have a sustained run of success.

Las Vegas Raiders, Denver Broncos – N/A

Sadly, no stories exist about the life and times of ping pong in the locker rooms of either the Raiders or Broncos. Which, maybe makes sense considering all that Las Vegas has to offer. But the Broncos did score an F in the most recent player grades for their locker room, so clearly something has to change there.

NFC East

Dallas Cowboys – ADD

New head coach Brian Schottenheimer certainly was an outside choice to take over the reins of the Cowboys this past offseason. And what else did he do to put his stamp on the team by making an edict relating to ping pong. However, the first-time NFL head coach zigged where his predecessors have zagged. Instead of removing a table to bring about increased focus and energy, he added one to the locker room, thinking it would bring his players a new competitive edge.

The Cowboys are 3-3-1 under Schottenheimer, so the jury is definitely still out on whether or not ping pong is going to bring back the glory days of America’s Team.

Philadelphia Eagles – KEY INGREDIENT IN SUPER BOWL RUN

If you need an example of the power of ping pong, look no further than your defending Super Bowl champion Philadelphia Eagles. What was the secret to their success in the 2024 season? In September, Reed Blankenship talked glowingly about the bonds being forged with paddle and ball in hand.

It was the ping pong all along. The tush push was just a red herring.

Washington Commanders – ADD, REMOVE, ADD

The Commanders have been through a lot as a franchise between ownership and nickname changes. So naturally, the residency of a locker room ping pong table couldn’t be immune. One was added in 2016, crediting the sacred table to a positive change in morale. But in 2020, head coach Ron Rivera removed it and the fun stopped. Hilariously, Case Keenum was once again noted as one of the top players when ping pong was alive and well in Washington. In April 2024, the table made a heroic return to “bring together the culture.”

It must have worked as the Commanders made a surprise run to the NFC Championship Game. It was either that or Jayden Daniels, one of the two.

New York Giants – REMOVE, ADD

As stated previously, Tom Coughlin is the OG of the NFL’s ping pong wars. He was the first coach we could find to rid the locker room of the table when he was hired with the Giants in 2004. It must have worked as he won two Super Bowls there. The Giants finally added a table in 2019. We know that from this feature on Saquon Barkley’s competitiveness. Unfortunately, New York decided to let Barkley go this time instead of the ping pong table.

NFC North

Chicago Bears – N/A

The Bears may be one of the oldest teams in the NFL, but so far they have made it through 106 seasons without becoming ensnared in table tennis turmoil.

Detroit Lions – FIERCE COMPETITION

Lions coach Dan Campbell is an intense guy. So it’s no surprise that he would instill in his team a certain sense of ferocious competition that extends from the gridiron to the ping pong tables, as noted earlier this month by cornerback Amik Robertson. “These games are very serious, man. Very serious,” Robertson told MLive. “We’re the ultimate competitors. If you’re a competitive person, you’ve got to take it serious, bro. But side note, man, right now I’m the champ.”

Green Bay Packers – RELATIONSHIP BUILDING

Like the Lions, we can’t find any ping pong drama when it comes to the Packers. And why should it? Green Bay has enjoyed a long run of sustained success. But when it comes to welcoming new star additions like Micah Parsons, it is an important factor in getting him integrated with his new teammates. Judging by the video of the Packers’ player lounge, it looks like a great place to be. If only Jerry Jones could have settled his contract dispute with Parsons in a friendly game.

Minnesota Vikings – BATTLE SCARS

The only note about ping pong in the Vikings locker room came from former head coach Mike Zimmer in 2015 where he and former Packers coach Mike McCarthy both expressed their disdain for the idea that ping pong or other team building activities helped team performance at all. McCarthy even offered a numerical breakdown as to why.

“We could have a team-building day, and we could go play pingpong and stuff like that,” Zimmer said as the Vikings wrapped up their minicamp. “But we need to work, and we need to get better. You team build by winning.”

“I don’t think a football team would get better at team-building playing pingpong,” McCarthy said Thursday after the Packers’ final minicamp practice. “I agree with that. I mean, hell, only four guys can play. Football players, maybe only two.

It gets cold in Minnesota so hopefully Vikings players have something to help them occupy the time if there’s no games of pong going on.

NFC South

Carolina Panthers – ADD

When Matt Rhule joined the Panthers, he was a big believer in the power of pong, even talking about how great it was that players put their phones down and picked up a paddle.

“When we first came here, we brought those,” said Rhule, the former Temple and Baylor coach who arrived in 2020. “We’ve always had those. I always think it’s great when guys put their phones down and start playing ping-pong. It caught on like fire during OTAs. The one table’s for the really good players. The other table’s for the average players. You come in here at night, there’s guys sometimes still playing.”

The table lasted longer than Rhule did. He was fired five games into his third season after compiling an 11-27 record. But in case you’re wondering, Rhule immediately took his love of ping pong to Nebraska after leaving Carolina.

Atlanta Falcons – LEGENDARY IMPACT… ALMOST

In the 2017 postseason, the Falcons credited the bonds created at the ping pong table for their run to the Super Bowl. Stories about their dedication to the game even hit mainstream outlets like Rolling Stone and NPR. The Falcons were so in love with the game that they had not one, not two, but three tables under Dan Quinn on their way to winning the NFC.

Quinn actually had that in mind when he added pingpong to the locker room culture after the room was remodeled before the season. It started with one table and leather couches to encourage players to spend more time interacting.

The lines became so long for pingpong that a second table was added.

“Then it grew to three,” Quinn said. “So, honestly, it’s just been a fun thing for the guys to connect. It goes on all sides of the ball, all different groups competing against one another. So we have a lot of fun with it.”

Unfortunately, everything that was forged at those tables could not help them hold on to a 28-3 lead in the big game. The Falcons’ love of ping pong endures to this day, even if they haven’t yet made it back to the Super Bowl.

New Orleans Saints – TEMPORARY REMOVAL

There’s one recorded instance of the Saints removing a table in January 2018 under Sean Payton during playoffs before a matchup with the Panthers. The strategy was at least successful for one week as New Orleans defeated Carolina. But the less said about what happened the following week, the better.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers – REMOVE

Add Bruce Arians to the list of coaches who believe ping pong has a negative influence over his team. He removed it from the locker room before the 2019 season, but the Bucs would go on to finish 7-9. The next season, Arians led Tampa Bay to a Super Bowl title. Of course, Tom Brady may have also had something to do with that, too.

NFC West

Arizona Cardinals – DEDICATED

The only recent reference to ping pong in the Cardinals locker room we could find is a quote from Marvin Harrison Jr. talking about the competitiveness of quarterback Kyler Murray, saying that he was playing ping pong for absurdly long periods of time.

“He’s very competitive like I said, he’s out there playing ping pong six hours a day. You guys would be amazed how long he’s playing ping pong out there,” Harrison said.

We’re sure there’s absolutely no trends that can be observed with Kyler Murray spending so much time playing ping pong. None whatsoever.

Los Angeles Rams – TROUBLE CONNECTING

In one of the strangest ping pong controversies in NFL history, the Rams were rocked in August 2023 by comments made from Kelly Stafford, the wife of quarterback Matthew Stafford, on her podcast. She said that her husband had trouble connecting with his younger teammates because they were on their phones too much and not connecting at the ping pong table.

“… But, he’s like, ‘I feel like I can’t connect.’ Because in the old days, you’d come out of practice, you’d shower, people would be playing cards, people would be interacting. Who knows what they’re doing but they’re doing something together, they’re playing ping pong, they have a tournament going on, they’re at least talking. He said now, they get done with practice, get done meetings during training camp, and they go straight to their phones, like no one looks up from their phones.”

“They say ‘sir’ to him and shit, He’s like, ‘No, we’re on the same level here, we’re both playing in this league, let me get to know you,’” Kelly continued. “But he said it’s so different and it’s so hard to get to know these guys. He had a book printed out … of all the guys’ faces and their names. He’s like, ‘I need to know their names.’”

Stafford apologized for her comments.

Seattle Seahawks – OBSESSION

In the glory days of the Legion of Boom, while the Seahawks were in the midst of their best run in franchise history, ping pong was a locker room “obsession.” Multiple stories over a number of years take note of the ping pong dynamic in the locker room in the mid-to-late 2010s. Lineman Garry Gilliam actually gave serious credence to the notion that the games were helping the Seahawks on the field as much as they were in the locker room.

“Honestly, I think there could be a one-to-one correlation with the success on the team to when people started really getting into pingpong. You’ve got to finish the games so we learned how to finish. Hand-eye coordination, competitiveness, drive, team camaraderie. Some legit stuff comes from this pingpong.

San Francisco 49ers – FOREVER

Longtime 49ers coach Kyle Shanahan told Pardon My Take in 2018 that he would “never” take away the 49ers’ locker room ping pong table. He even resisted players who tried to get rid of it after a particularly slow start the year before by telling them not to make too big of a deal about their presence in the locker room.

“I think we’ve got two in there,” Shanahan said. “We’re never taking away the ping-pong table. I want guys to hang out here. I really believe that – obviously you’ve got to be talented, you’ve be prepared and everything – but I always feel the tighter team, the closer team has an advantage over the team that’s not as tight. The only way you do that is by hanging here, spending time together.  I like to put ping-pong tables in there just so people kick it. They don’t go home right away when they’re done with their stuff.”

[…]

“I remember last year, we got off to such a bad start, starting 0-9 and everything,” Shanahan said. “Everyone’s trying to solve stuff. I’ve got players, ‘Hey, we’ve got to take the ping-pong tables out.’ I’m like,  ‘Guys, that’s not why we lost five in a row by three points or less. It’s not the ping-pong tables. Let’s not make too big a deal about it. We’ve just got to start not turning the ball over, make those right plays and not worry about the ping pong tables.”

A coach that thinks ping pong has no tangible effect on teams winning and losing? Seriously, what is wrong with that guy.

The post The complete history of ping pong tables in NFL locker rooms appeared first on Awful Announcing.

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Anton Kusters’ Photos of the Yakuza

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For his Yakuza project, photographer Anton Kusters spent two years documenting some members of the Japanese mafia.

Yakuza Anton Kusters

A limited edition of a book containing the photos is available. Steward Mag recently did an interview with Kusters:

The values were almost comparable to general Japanese workplace values, actually. Most yakuza gangs actually have neighborhood offices, and the plaques they have on the door state core values like “respect your superiors,” “keep the office clean,” and so on.

One thing I noticed early on with gang life was how subtle everything was. Everything was unspoken, and will was expressed through group pressure. A pressure was constantly there. There was this innate understanding of form — if someone did something wrong, no one would say anything; he would simply be expected to apologize. And the fact everyone would be so silent about it made the pressure really intense.

(thx, david)

[This is a vintage post originally from Sep 2012.]

Tags: Anton Kusters · crime · Japan · photography · timeless posts · Yakuza

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Fifteen Years

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"Want to feel old?" "Yes."
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3 public comments
GaryBIshop
50 minutes ago
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So Sweet! Hooray for getting old!
sfringer
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Life!
North Carolina USA
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"Want to feel old?" "Yes."

Go SPANK DONNIE via Adbusters' latest project, "the most satisying game on the planet"

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President Donald Trump (Joey Sussman/shutterstock.com)

Yesterday, culture jamming pros Adbusters posted that they "created what just might be the most satisfying game on the planet." The game in question is called "SPANK DONNIE" and allows you to do, well, exactly that. 

On the game website, there's a drawing of a woman in Victorian clothing about to spank a child, who is splayed out on her lap. — Read the rest

The post Go SPANK DONNIE via Adbusters' latest project, "the most satisying game on the planet" appeared first on Boing Boing.

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Trump Posts Claim About Health Care System Cited to “Dunning-Kruger Times,” a Website Making Fun of Stupid People

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The arbiter of “fake news” himself has gotten duped.

On Sunday, president Donald Trump posted an image claiming that his predecessor Barack Obama had been collecting millions in taxpayer dollars from “royalties linked to Obamacare.” Elon Musk’s Department of Government Efficiency, the post further averred, had heroically intervened to halt the yearly payments of $2.5 million, which totaled to $40 million since 2010.

“WOW!” Trump wrote in the post, receiving nearly 18,000 likes and over 8,000 “ReTruths” on his social network Truth Social.

But these claims weren’t just false — they’re so outrageously fake that their actual origin was mocking anyone credulous enough to fall for them.

As many outlets quickly noted, the bogus item originates from a website called — we kid you not — the “Dunning-Kruger Times.” The name, of course, is a reference to the Dunning-Kruger effect, the well-observed tendency of particularly stupid people to vastly overestimate their abilities or intelligence. The name couldn’t be more on the nose if it was called “Website For Gullible Dopes Who Believe Anything They Hear.” 

“Everything on this website is fiction,” the satirical site’s “About Us” page reads. “If you believe that it is real, you should have your head examined.”

Per coverage from The Guardian, a White House spokesperson refused to directly answer questions on whether Trump knew that the claims he shared were satire, and instead, via Forbes, unleashed a missive about how Obama “rapidly became a multi-millionaire” after leaving office, while Trump is supposedly the only president in history “to have actually lost money in office.” (On that note, may we direct you to some of Trump’s extremely suspicious crypto deals that have made his family billions of dollars?)

It remains unclear why Trump shared the obviously fake claims, which were posted seemingly apropos of nothing. The gaffe, in any case, comes amid greater scrutiny into Trump’s health and in particular what many interpret as signs of cognitive decline.

Just last week, Trump was visibly struggling to remain awake during a meeting in the Oval Office. In April, Trump’s White House physician said that the president is in “excellent cognitive and physical health,” and revealed that he had gotten a perfect score on a cognitive assessment that detects early signs of dementia. Later, Trump bragged about acing the test, which he called “very hard.”

“One of the doctors said he’s almost never seen a perfect score. I had a perfect score. I had the highest score. And that made me feel good,” Trump gloated while speaking to reporters. “There aren’t a lot of people in this room that would get every single question right, I can guarantee you.”

To be fair to Trump, he’s not the only political leader that’s fallen victim to the subterfuge of Dunning-Kruger-Times.com. In 2023, Texas governor Greg Abbott shared a fake story about country singer Garth Brooks, who was attacked by some of the right for stating that he was “inclusive,” being booed off stage by “patriots” at a concert in a town that does not exist. In response, the site’s owner, Christopher Blair, called Abbott “one of the dumbest people in the country.”

More on Trump: President Trump Posts AI Video of Himself Spraying Explosive Diarrhea on Peaceful Protestors

The post Trump Posts Claim About Health Care System Cited to “Dunning-Kruger Times,” a Website Making Fun of Stupid People appeared first on Futurism.



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The Nickel Knows It’s Next

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“With the end of the penny, is the clock ticking for the nickel?” — CNN

- - -

It keeps replaying in my head. It was a normal morning at a normal time, maybe ten, maybe ten-fifteen, and we were all settling down to work. People were making jokes the way they always did, “keep the change,” “turn on a dime,” “shave and a haircut,” that kind of thing.

Then the guys came in. They looked like the same guy multiplied by four: all newly pressed khaki uniforms and those damn clipboards like they were here for an audit. But they weren’t. They headed straight for Penny’s desk without any hesitation or explanation. The one in front said her name with his finger on his clipboard, like he was reading off a form letter.

Penny hardly said a word in return. She just stood up, took off her credentials, put them down on her desk, and stood. The second guy pointed at her, and she went to stand between the third and fourth guys, who led her out.

I couldn’t work the rest of the day and couldn’t sleep all night. Every time a floorboard creaked, I sat up in bed and looked to see if it was the guys. Because I was next. I knew it.

Maria was asleep when I left in the morning, but I called her after our morning meeting. I guess I was tripping over my words. I don’t even know what I said. “Calm down, Nick,” she kept saying, “calm down.” But how am I supposed to calm down when I can see the door from where I sit, and I know that they can just push it open? Who’s going to stop them?

I keep listening for boots in the hallway, even though I don’t even remember if they were wearing boots. All I remember is Penny and the way she stood and went with them so silently. There’s this little pinch just under my ribs that tells me that my time isn’t long.

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